Love is not enough.’ It’s not always rainbows and butterflies it’s compromise that moves us along’ right sang in the song, She will be loved. In the name of love we keep putting up with questionable behavior and attitude of a person. Sadly, too blinded by the dilemma of ‘love’ we cannot see what is happening. Justifying other person’s actions without thinking twice that maybe it’s not him but you.
REPEAT- LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH
Love plays a vital role, yes but is love everything? No. A relation consists of respect, trust and love. The person you’re with is supposed to respect you as an individual; no one has the right to disrespect you. You shouldn’t be with someone to whom you have to keep justifying yourself. Trust is essential; when there’s no trust you’re just dating a psychopath who’ll never let you be at peace.
ARE YOU HAPPY?
Just a yes or no. Are you at peace? Don’t give explanation on how he keeps you happy but at times he just gets too much to handle and everyone has flaws. Listen, if you’re unhappy majority of the time and are only giving in the relation without getting anything in return then why exactly are you with this man?
Kindly get back to your senses and stop justifying his actions. For a minute stop thinking as a girlfriend/wife and think as a third person. Would you want your sister or best friend to be with such a guy? If not then you’ve got your answer.
Once you realize that yes, this relation is a dead end. Give yourself time. Don’t break up right away. Distance yourself instead. You’ve invested so much in this time span that moving on could be hard. Slowly and gradually, start revolving your life around you and not him. If he fights during that time over how you’ve changed, just turn a deaf ear. Pave your path to the light at the end of the tunnel.
Keep your best friends updated throughout just in case you need a shoulder to cry on..
Did he like your hair long? Go get a haircut. Does he have an objection with what you wear? Put on those clothes more, and some more. You weren’t allowed to work before? Go crazy sending your resumes to places where you want to work. For once, live for yourself!!
Once these steps are followed, you by now must have realized how that relation had chained you down. Pack your bags or pack his bags and let him know IT’S OVER. Stay strong and firm on your decision. There’ll be a lot of drama, emotional black mailing but remember, if for any reason you go back, you’ll be back to square one. If you stay firm on your decision then the next step will be a breath of fresh air after a long hot day.
Give yourself time to heal. Which means no rebounds. Na-uh! Absolutely none. Enjoy the single hood for a while, AT LEAST. You don’t need another man to get over one man. Set a time and stick to it. If you think you need a month to get over your relationship then by all means, take that time. Cry your eyes out, spend hours thinking about him, or not. But once that period is over, you are not looking back. You won’t think or talk about it. After that, promise yourself to not waste a single tear on someone who never deserved you in the first place.
We would say block and delete but nah, keep him on your social media so he sees how you’re doing so much better without him *wink wink*. If he messages or tries to contact you, pucker up those lips and ignore.