Speaking Out About Toxic Relationships
Can one always be that lucky to hit the bulls’ eye every time? Hear stories and believe ‘This won’t happen to me.’ Sadly, no. That is the uncertainty of life; one never knows when the unfortunate events knock on your door and when they do, one gets knocked down on the ground. It is said that expect the best but keep preparing for the worst as well.
Everyone is good at giving advises but when the time comes to practice what you preach, many fail to accomplish what they ask others to do. Easier said than done, we’d say.
We talked to 5 people who shared their real-life stories with us and hearing their experiences made us realize how destructive love can be. Sometimes, not giving up is a decision that can cause irreparable damage.
WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN
Here’s a heart-wrenching story which left the victim emotionally drained and scarred for life. She told us, ‘He was not the best man in my life but I loved him too much to see through his actual intentions. Being physically abused was nothing new, more like something I became immune to. He took full advantage of my feminist views, took money from me frequently and never paid back. He used to apologize later on and say he’ll pay me back but this was just a vicious cycle that went on for years.’ There are various types of abuse and exploiting is one of them. ‘I didn’t tell anyone about all this because I believed we all have our flaws and he made me believe it’s not him but me.It took me years before my eyes opened and I finally confided in my friends and family. Reality started hitting me and I began to look for ways to move apart.’
So how exactly did she make up her mind? ‘Thanks to my loved ones and family’s support. Once, we were having a fight and I recorded that argument which I listened to later on. Realization struck me and I knew that this was wrong.’ Good riddance we say!
I’M BETTER THAN YOU
‘He was head over heels for me. The guy all my friends loved, and everything was just perfect’. Sounds like a fairy tale, no? But sadly, people change.’ After a year, nobody knows what happened but he suddenly took a 360 degree turn. A guy who wouldn’t stop praising me all of a sudden started saying things like, ‘You’re good to hang out with but you’re not pretty or anything.’ Even after this, I chose to stay with him for as long as I could’. We wonder how someone can still be with someone who said things like that. ‘Then verbal abuses began, thank God it was a long distance relationship otherwise I’m sure he would have even hit me.’
If all these red flags went by, what triggered her the most that she finally stepped out of this?’ I started self-harming myself and was once caught by my mother, who saw the cuts on my wrist. Everyone in my house was worried, which was when I told myself, ‘This has to end,’ and so it did. It was hard, but I’m glad it ended.’ Ladies, anyone who makes you compromise on your self-respect is not worth it.
It is the first sign of a toxic relationship when a person starts isolating you and makes you completely dependent on them. ‘I left my best friend for her. My best friend understood because I mean best friends understand, they always do.’ Leaving your best friend for a girl, is that a wise decision? ‘Few months into the relation I started losing my own self, I was her boyfriend now and that was all my identity was restricted to.’ We already feel sorry. ‘All that sacrifice for a girl who cheated on me, yes SHE CHEATED ON ME! I contacted my best friend, she supported me throughout and when I finally had the courage to leave her, I finally turned my back and left. However, there’s a sad ending, things between me and my best friend never got back to how they were.’ We are just glad that his best friend was there to help him leave that girl and people. Be wise and remember, nothing is forever.
ONLY LISTEN TO ME
‘I knew it was a toxic relationship but I just wasn’t willing to let go. Maybe, because I was under the impression that my world revolved around him’. Be in love but make sure that you are not blinded by love. ‘Sitting in the car, I just wanted to hold his hand while he drove.With good music, everything seemed perfect as we were going for breakfast. Out of nowhere, he went like, ‘give me your phone.’ I said, I’m meeting you after a long time; let me hold your hand. You can check my phone at the restaurant.’ An argument began and things became tense very fast. He left me stranded in the middle of the road, and even after this, I remained with him.’ We are flabbergasted! People go through so much. ‘How did it end? I got a proposal and he was not willing to take a step. That’s what opened my eyes and long story short he still messages me but I’m too happy living my life and no, I did not get married.’ We are out of words for this story.
BE MY SECRET
‘She was controlling, dominating and everything a girlfriend should not be, but I knew she loved me with all her heart. Hence, I didn’t mind her behavior. What completely broke me was that she wouldn’t even let me talk to my parents about her. She ended up at my house when we got into a fight and complained to my mom and sister- who knew nothing about us. But I couldn’t even greet her when she was with her family somewhere out.’ Being someone’s secret is not something to be happy about. ‘Later, I found out she got engaged yet, still wanted to be with me. I knew she’s with someone else but she still talked to me as if I’m her property. It was time to end it and I just walked out of her life with a heavy heart.’ The one who loves you will want to flaunt you, remember that ALWAYS!