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Eleven Things To Tell Your 20-Something Self

Many of us are hesitant to leave the golden age of 29, but there’s a lot to be said about the 30s


Many of us are hesitant to leave the golden age of 29, but there’s a lot to be said about the 30s. Leaving behind your twenties can be liberating and one would hope we slightly older ladies – have wisdom to tell that young thing crying in the bathroom at a party, “Babe go home, he isn’t worth it”.

Only with age can you let go of those internal and external insecurities, so here’s our round up of what we could tell our 20-something self:

You look amazing

Living in Pakistan, you’re never thin or pretty enough but dammit you are, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! That’s the difference between you and that girl – inner confidence. So stop listening to those critical voices and enjoy the shiny beauty only youth can give you.

Take care of your skin

Wear sunscreen, invest in a skin care routine and use eye cream. And how many times do we need to tell you to take off your make up at night? This will really pay off in 5-10 years when you don’t have pigmented, wrinkly skin.

Party now but single later

Sadly, some aunty truths hold true. No matter how progressive and adventurous that guy is right now, he doesn’t want to settle down with the girl out till 5 am. Guys who are trolling for chicks post midnight are the ones you stay away from, so go home at a decent hour and skip 1 out 3 parties. Take yourself seriously and a nice, decent, hard working guy will as well. Being with someone Cool might be fun for a short while, but being with someone kind will get to your 50th Anniversary.

Get a job (a real one)

Most likely your parents shelled out for that Bachelor’s in Arts degree so put it to use! Working in a structured, serious environment gives you focus and frankly, stops you from being an airhead. Take it seriously, regardless if it’s in finance or fashion, and you’ll grow as a person.


You want everything now! You want the fame, the fortune and the friendships. Everything takes time though, and keep working hard at all these different areas and the results will come. Slow and steady always wins the race, so don’t give up just because you’re not seeing results ASAP.

Invest in friends not bags

Give them time, love and forgiveness. Friendships are a delicate balance and as you grow older you learn to appreciate the ones who stick around. Sometimes the more boring friend (who works and skips 1 out of 3 parties to stay home and Netflix), is the one who’s there at 3 am with a box of tissues.

Learn to cook

Take as many cooking classes as you can and practice these dishes at home, for yourself, family or friends. Cooking is cathartic and learning to make a green curry from scratch or a perfect chicken masala will be handier than knowing the latest F/W runway collection.

Stop buying cheap clothes

I know that kurta on sale for Rs. 500 is just such a great buy, but most likely you won’t wear it anyways. Buying one expensive thing you will wear over and over, instead of 5 that hang in your closet. That’s smart shopping.  Figure out your style and stick to it, whether you’re into basics, boho or tailored.

Don’t hide from fight

Not everyone has to like you. Purge yourself of frenemies and tell that mean girl to get lost. It’s hard to face bullies, and the mean girl in Pakistan is hardcore. Snide comments and harsh judgments are all the rage but learn to stand up for yourself and say, “I don’t want you in my life”. It’s incredibly liberating. Your self worth is really more important than an invitation to her boring tea party.

Take a makeup course

Learn to apply makeup! There are tons of courses in your city so go to a pro and learn how to do a yummy smokey eye, contour without looking like a clown and choose the right red lip. Classes also teach you that less is more so you learn to let your natural beauty shine through.

Trust your gut

Learn to trust your instincts. This takes time and effort but it took generations of women trusting their gut to make sure you’re alive today. If your Paki-sense is tingling and saying stay away from that guy or that job isn’t for you, listen

  • Mrs. Kainaat Kurd

    Listen? No full stop or there is more but not opening on my page. Anyways I am 29 and thought it must be worth reading but a bit dissapointed. We live in Pakistan and mostly women in her thirties standing in the kitchen and cooking all day, they don’t party. And rest of the night while on pee pot they are crying or regretting for studying so much and not being something or feeling worthless. How many women in Pakistan do you think get to choose or decide for themselves? They are more of their husband and children property. And! Suppose if any of them stands for herself and say I want to have my own identity or I want to be something, what do you think the reaction will be of her own family…. they will call her selfish, not worthy of anything not thankful and blah blah…. its easier said than done. So this article is not for a Pakistani women. Atleast not for this generation. We still live way too behind of new world. We really are third world country.