By Sherazade Khan
Still reeling from Amir Khan and Faryal Makhdoom’s breakup-makeup drama? We knew they had their issues. It was obvious from their social media outbursts. But their willingness to still stick together is beyond us. Sure you signed up for ’till death do you part’ when you decided to get married, but sometimes a marriage just isn’t working. You don’t want to waste anymore time than you already have when that happens!
Every marriage has its shares of ups and downs – but sometimes there are deeper issues that need to be addressed before it’s too late. How do you know if the time has come to call it quits?
This essentially means that one or both spouses have disengaged from the marriage. They would rather spend time apart, consciously or unconsciously, and it may be a relief to not be together. Friends, phones, the telly – all these things come before your spouse.
Not Working At It
If one spouse refuses to try to fix a problem that the other one repeatedly brings up, then there’s an issue. One person can’t do all the trying. After all remember the Urdu saying, “taali aik haath se nahin bajti!”
There’s a Lack of Respect
Marriage is sacred and built, for the most part, on mutual respect. Society sometimes tells us that women need to respect their husbands, but what about the other way round? In an equal partnership, no spouse should feel dismissed, rejected or belittle you.
If you are not respected by your partner, find yourself unable to maintain a cordial relationship, are always either attacking or defending, you’re in a toxic marriage.
Me, me, me
As unfortunate as it may sound, a huge chunk of marriage is compromise. You need to find a balance between what both of you want, so that everyone is happy. If that’s not the case, and one spouse finds that their needs are not being met, or is not communicating what he/she needs, you’re not in a good place.
I don’t want to talk about it
Last but not least, most issues in any relationship, marriage or otherwise, can be solved with clear and open communication. If you feel like you can’t be honest with your spouse or all you ever discuss is mundane things like the weather, then chances are your marriage won’t last very long.
If reading these worries you about your own marriage it may be time to speak up and work at it with your spouse. If you’re lucky enough to have a partner that sees the two of you as a team and recognises the problem. you’ll be able to salvage your marriage and live happily ever after. If not, it may be time to call it quits and move on to greener pastures!