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How To Spot A Desi Yummy Mummy

Here are 10 tips!

By Mishayl Naek

 The goras might have caught onto the Yummy Mummy trend recently, but we desis have been making babies and looking gorgeous for decades. Pull out any old photo album and you’ll spot your mother ready to rock that Vogue cover with her hand spanning the waist, sky-high beehive, and perfectly ironed culottes.

But we millennial girls also don’t slouch in the department titled fabulous! We have our gym classes sorted, our children’s pre-school decided even before they are conceived, and our shoulders are prepped to carry the weight of the world.

Here are 10 tips how you can spot a desi Yummy Mummy.

1. Look for a woman whose day is spent 30% on picking and dropping children from school, 20% at work, and 50% at the gym. Yes, you heard that right. You can’t be yummy with back fat.

2.  Her regular nightly prayers include the quest for a nanny.  She may try to poach the ones standing diligently in the heat outside the school, but we all know stealing a maid is social suicide.

3. She may not know where her husband is, but has installed a GPS tracker device into her salon girl because no woman can look yummy in a moustache.

4. The cure for all childhood illnesses is haldi (turmeric) and milk.

5. Her wardrobe includes a separate Kiddy Party section and it is far more expensive than her shaadi clothes. The Kiddy Party is a child-friendly version of a Kitty Party.

6.Being included in the It Baby play date is more coveted than an invitation to the Met Ball.

7. The Karachi Grammar School entrance exam is a momentous occasion, more important than the actual birth of the child.

8. She has an actual Glam Squad to prepare her for prime events. Mr & Mrs Smith definitely didn’t look this good at the school concert.

9. Her Instagram feed is more active than Kim Kardashian’s. Every coffee date, kiddy play date, couples dinner, and parent teacher outing is meticulously documented and filtered to the max.

10. Only the highest ranking desi Yummy Mummys achieve this status, but ultimate Queen M will be the one who’s featured by a big fashion house as their muse. You know you’ve entered the golden circle when you receive a WhatsApp message asking you to approve your pictures for the ‘Spotted’ section of a magazine.