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Seven trends to ditch ASAP

The Fashion police is on its way!

By Rozina Bhutto

Layering on a lot of highlighter on a sweltering day is not feasible and neither is celebrating your wedding like a maniac. It is time we sit and formulate an exit strategy for trends like face contouring, tulip shalwars, and duck face selfies. Trends are supposed to change every year if not every season, but some continue to plague us for the rest of our lives. If you’re not good at differentiating between an actual trend and a bad habit, then let us help you.

Here are seven trends that you must ditch to live a happy respectable life.

Oh those Ombre lips!Call us old-fashioned or link us to the Flintstones, but you cannot sway us from the belief that your lips need to be of one solid colour. A deep red pout or a simple nude one is a hundred times more attractive than a rainbow coloured one. Girls should wish to look glamourous, classy, and sensual, and not the long lost relative of Effie from Hunger Games.

That takes us to our next trend which should be banned by the joint session of the parliament.

Cruel contouring and highlighting

Kim Kardashian may have elongated her nose to the point of no return with the help of contouring, but two brown lines guarding your nose like the guards at Wagah border is not a pretty sight. Trust us. Contouring yells desperation and often makes you look a shade or two darker than your actual shade, and while that ‘golden glow’ is much-coveted, ending up looking like a burnt brownie isn’t!

Same goes for using the highlighter like a weapon to ward off all evil.

So embrace strobing and let go of heavily contoured face, especially if you’re going out for a casual lunch. It is best that you restrict this makeup technique to weddings where everyone is looking plastic enough to forgive each other’s sculpted-out-of-stone-faces.

Where is the rest of the face?

That’s what we wonder when an individual indulges in heavy dosage of lip Botox or plumping tools.

The duck-face selfies may look sexy to you, but to us, they make you resemble exactly what the name suggests – a duck – and that’s nowhere near appealing.

One can pout all they want, but probing needles or pumping them up like a clogged drain is taking things too far. Also, lip Botox, almost always, snatches your freedom to express yourself through your facial expressions and you end up emitting a perpetual feeling of pain.

So embrace that gleeful frown and or your trademark smirk and let go of the blob that you like to call ‘plump lips’.

Glitter looks good…when used aptly

We weren’t aware of this trend until we spotted a renowned makeup artist (Bina Khan) boasting about how this latest fad of putting glitter in one’s hair parting had taken everyone by storm. It certainly took us by storm – a storm of strong repulsive emotion often expressed by teenagers through a loud “WTH!”

One look at the ‘trendy picture’ had us thinking: Why would anyone want to sport a look that makes you look like a person suffering from a weird (glittering) case of dandruff?

Point-and-smile picture with the bride and groom

Didn’t your parents tell you that pointing during social gatherings isn’t considered polite?

If we see one more person pointing at someone, anyone or anything while posing for a picture, we might just casually pick up the sharpest object lying next to us and throw it in their direction – only to check if their involuntary muscles are as clogged up as their voluntary ones.

Guys, someone somewhere was innovative enough to point at someone and laugh instead of sitting like a log throughout the wedding album, so we suggest you do the same.

No, do not point and laugh or smile.

Be innovative! Think of your own different pose or even better, just be yourself (unless you’re a sad soul then by all means be someone else) during the next wedding, bridal shower or any other celebration you attend.

Make way for the rose petal shalwar

How does the idea of a multi layered, asymmetric, rose-shaped shalwar sound to you? Appealing, I’m sure. And a welcome respite from the Tulip shalwar which has been trending since…the last century? At least, that’s how it feels.

When designers introduced this new silhouette for our regular shalwar we were over the moon, but now we’re back from the moon (metaphorically speaking of course) and the tulip trend is still hanging in here which isn’t cool. Let’s take a moment and look at other flowers like rose or hibiscus for inspiration, shall we?

The never-ending wedding fest

Bridal shower, Dholki No. XYZ, Sangeet, Mayoon, Baraat in Karachi, Baraat in Timbuctoo and so on; The wedding festivities for the super duper rich continue to pollute our social media timelines for months at stretch. While some girls (even boys) aspire to have such weddings, rest of us self-proclaimed bitter souls wonder what the world has come to.

We absolutely agree that one has the right to live their life as they wish and that includes celebrating their weddings across the globe, but why not stop for a second and wonder what good is spending trillions on one partnership doing to the world? Yes, it is not obligatory for everyone to be philanthropic and I’m sure they – people who have elaborate weddings – do their bit, but why waste resources? Because that’s what your destination dholki is – a waste of time and money.

What’s even more worrisome is that the trend is on the rise and more people are embracing the ‘If you’ve got it, flaunt it’ school of thought. Maybe it’s time we take a leaf out of Khyber Pakhtunkhwa government’s recent ruling and set wedding budgets in every province.

Are there any trends that you wish would die a slow, painful death right before your eyes? Share those with us in the comments below!