By Mishayl Naek
The summer holidays are upon us and you know what that means. Yup, it’s time to pack that Samsonite and jet off to cooler skies. That’s right! We’re talking London baby! And intentional or not, all UK bound desi snobs turn into total tossers. Here’s our roundup of London Summer vacationers most annoying and endearing “habits”:
- Check in Emirates Business Lounge with “Can’t wait to go back to our second home!” Unless the UK Government is chopping off 20-30% from your income to support that welfare economy, girl you’re just vacationing.
- Where am I staying? Mayfair duh. If you do the math, those Knightsbridge rental costs equate to a down payment for a 2 bed in Zone 1. But hey, who wants to slum it?
- First stop Harrods! Please, we saw you wearing Primark at the gym and Zara at the party.
- Next stop Harvey Nicks for the blow out. Your signature barrel curls are available internationally; they’ll just cost you twenty quid.
- Insta from Chiltern Firehouse #foodie, #yummy! Sure, that one time, then it’s Maroush shawarmas FTW.
- Dancing on the tabletop at Tramp, listen buddi, your kids will be up at 7 am ready to dance on your head. Unless…
- Filipino with a visa. Nothing says #eliteclass like having your nanny come on holiday with you. Babysitting your own kids is so first world middle class scene!
- Selfie in the black cab. Just like any tourist attraction, this is great for the first week. Afterwards it’s all about the Oyster Card.
- ONLY meet other desis. Who else would I eat Thai with at The Churchill Arms? My bestie from Karachi and her i-banker bestie from London of course!
- Shopping like an oligarch. Stand in line for VAT like a memon. No trip is complete without the bag full of receipts, and your biggest return will always be from M&S. Best chaddis in the world!