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The Seven Deadly Stages Of A Diet

We can all relate to this

By Sherazade Khan

You go shopping with your girlfriends. You try on that first outfit, and oops! It is a tad too tight. Maybe the brand messed up their sizes. Let’s try on a pair of jeans… and the button doesn’t quite close.

That’s when the realisation dawns… it’s time to shed some pounds. “That’s it!” says your inner voice, “tomorrow we start our diet.”

You plan everything out. You’re going to eat healthy. You’re going to take the stairs instead of the elevator. You’re going to work out. You even decide on your cheat day! You’re certain that positivity and motivation will get you through this, and your friends are starting to get annoyed at how much you’re mentioning this diet, given it hasn’t even started yet.

The Dreams

It hasn’t even been 24 hours since this diet (which was your plan, might we add) started and you find yourself thinking about the cheesy pizza that’s waiting for you at the end of the self-inflicted ordeal. The daydreaming continues as you munch on your salad.

The Cravings

By this point, you’re pretty sure you’re starving yourself to death. You can’t possibly continue to live on such few calories! You need to give your body a little sugar just to stay alive. Why don’t people understand? You’re not being dramatic! How do they expect you to exercise with a low blood sugar level?

The Attack On The Nerves

Everything and everyone is getting on your nerves. Your head hurts and you can barely find the energy to exist, let alone move around. How do people do this? You’re ready to bite anyone who dares to even peak your way.

Basically, you’re hangry (hungry and angry).

This is the most testing part of the diet, get through this and you’re sorted!

The Sweet Result

One day you wake up, grudgingly get on the scale, and voila! You notice you’re a pound or two down. Just to be certain, you get off and back on again.  Well, this wasn’t that hard! It’s working.

Suddenly you feel reenergised. There’s a will to fight the fat inside and you’re feeling motivated as you put on your sneakers and strut of to the gym feeling like a new person.

The Cardboard Phase

You’ve almost reached your target weight but you’re beginning to feel nauseous and like you’ve been eating cardboard for longer than you can remember. In fact, you can’t quite recall what good food tastes like.

Stay positive and motivated, and you’re almost there!

The End

Yay! The diet is over, you’ve reached your target weight and now you can get back to your good old life. Your inner voice promises that this time round you’ll watch what you eat so that your body doesn’t have to endure this torture again, but not before a little junk food celebration…