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What NOT to Tweet When Somebody Cries Out Against Harassment

Rape Jokes are a big NO NO

Sharmeen Obaid’s sister took a trip to the ER. She shared her contact details with the doctor on duty, which is usually the case. He sent her a friend request on Facebook the very next day, which is not usually the case. She felt violated. Her private information was used to make a pass (yes, a friend request is virtual equivalent to a pass) at her by a person whom she met in a professional setting. The woman in question shared it with her sister, who happened to be Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy, and she used her social messaging platform to voice her discomfort.

The doctor was terminated by Agha Khan University Hospital shortly after for his unprofessional attitude.

Why is that so hard to digest?

Because he has four kids – whom he should’ve thought about before trying to befriend a complete stranger for reasons only known to him – or because he didn’t ‘physically’ cause discomfort to the lady?

What is highly disturbing is that Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy is being ridiculed for creating a ‘fuss’ over a Facebook friend request. Some of the responses were so bizarre that we couldn’t help but laugh, for therapeutic purposes of course.

This particular one had our jaws hit the floor…

How desensitized have we become towards things like harassment, sexual or otherwise, that we can joke about being raped, and get away with it? Not only is Shehryar Taseer’s tweet disgusting, but what’s most shocking is that not one person called him out for it! Instead they laughed along.

Others were hilariously absurd in their absolute daftness.

While some bordered on mean and hurtful.

Like everyone else, women are human and each has their own boundaries, which when breached, makes them feel uncomfortable. I cannot say what makes you feel harassed anymore than you can say what makes me feel violated.

Founder of Yummy Mummy Network, Mishayl Naek, very aptly says, “Shame on you who have sat there said “it’s not a big deal”, it’s not up to you to decide at which point a women feels invaded. It’s not up to you to decide what’s an appropriate level of discomfort. #metoo means #notyou in Pakistan.”

  • Ifti H

    Bullshit article. Friends with SOC maybe?! The last quote; who is to decide what is the level of discomfort then? If I say I should be allowed to touch anyone and stopping me in doing so discomforts me then?! Lol. The fuss is the harassment part. Unethical, yes.

  • Khadija Usman

    No doubt he was unethical.. But an angry/hate mail could have sufficed, if it was just one friend request.. Publicizing it to the world n making him lose his job, is just not an equal game.. its exploiting star power.. I am a feminist too but that does not make me blind or jump to out of bounds conclusion.. The article unfortunately is illogical..

  • Ahmad Haseeb

    What doc did it was wrong but what sharmeen did that can be expected from a pyscho. And it seems to be a paid article. because there is no logic and sense written here except the agenda is clear to save the client.

  • Hamza Naseer

    A) If one defines harassment with their own perception, the issue with that is any normal accepted behavior can be called harassment, like a friend request. Harassment has a definition; anything falling out of that scope cannot be called harassment regardless of how one feels. Rape involves penetration as a pre-requisite, harassment requires behavior meant to make the other person feel uncomfortable and wrong
    B) As of now, no evidence exists as to whether he intended to harass the woman; he might just have wanted to be friends with the sister of a celebrity
    C) Stop feminist-washing this. He wasn’t guilty, and to say he was is just plain disrespectful to the cause of feminism: equality. Sharmeen used her privilege to create an environment the doctor did not deserve to be in.
    D) If he was guilty of harassment, she should have proven it in court, since she had the means to do so; instead, her actions resulted in a doctor being fired who was not declared officially guilty and furthermore, if he actually was an offender of that sort, she has let him walk away scot-free back into society to offend again instead of throwing him into jail.

  • Arslan Ahmad

    Doc didnt do any wrong.
    1st. Its upto you in fb settings to allow strangers to send friend request or not. If you would have disabled receiving request from strangers he could not send it first place. If you have allowed sending friend request, he has done it with your permission.

    2nd. Facebook tells in people you may know, those whome you just have met. By your location settings if someone stayed near you for some time, you may see that person first in your people suggested.

    Sharmeen should know these facts but only if you are always in search of a point to defame your country. This case is already lost by her in international court of justice. No movie this time.

  • Khwaja Shahiryar

    The appropriate response would have been to ignore or tell the doctor to back off at least once.
    It would make sense to report him if he persisted.
    Social media has changed and is still changing the values of our society.
    Girls and boys , totally strangers, to each other, are meeting and befriending or otherwise on every forum.
    I as a male of more than 65 years and my wife in her 50s regularly receive friends request from strangers ,male and female, local and foreign.
    Our response: ignore and delete the request
    One can understand the lady’ s” disgust ” at doctor’ request, getting him terminated was too much.
    Surely a warning would have been enough