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Which Pakistani Film Has Our Vote This Winter?

The result is unexpected.

Before anyone yells dhaandhli dhaandhli, let us give a disclaimer: the views our solely our own and no person – living or dead – paid us to skew our opinion. After a healthy gap of two months, Pakistani cinema gears up for an equally healthy competition at the box office. This winter is going to be a busy time for exhibitors as they tackle various distributors, deciding which movie should get more screens and which one should face the brunt of multiple releases. 

Thankfully, none of the movies are releasing on the same day, so at least we’ll have the premieres in peace.  

Let’s get straight to the trailers and teasers of the upcoming films and decide how much they pique our interest. 

Parchi 

This was the first teaser that came our way claiming to, “blow our minds”. We wish the makers weren’t so boastful. It is always better to DO something instead of saying that you’ll do it. Maybe it’s a Pakistani thing, but we don’t appreciate being told what to think. Thank you. 

After the little lesson in human psychology, let’s actually review the teaser. It shows a bunch of hooligans – Ali Rehman Khan, Hareem Farooq, Usman Mukhtar, Ahmed Ali Akbar, and Shafqat Khan – who are up to no good. There are random shooting sprees, a few thappars, a chit stating 50 lakh, and a creepy trying-to-touch-Hareem’s hand move by none other than Ali Rehman Khan. In short, the teaser is a whirlwind of action. 

Our reaction to the 80-second teaser is, “Oh it’s an action movie”. That’s it.  

Level of interest: Let’s wait for the trailer. 

Verna 

Coming together of Shoaib Mansoor and Mahira Khan after Bol was expected to be a sight for sore eyes. And cinematography wise it was, but there are quite a few things that upset us. 

Firstly, we know the story. Trust us, we do. The trailer left little to the imagination and especially the dialogue: 

Mujhe dou mardon ne kharaab kiya hai. Ek ko mein chorungi nahi [the wadera we presume]doosre [the cowardly husband] ke saath mein rahungi nahi.” 

We were supposed to get goosebumps, just like when Mahira yelled, Woh mar kyun nahi gayi, in Bin Roye or when Humaima pleaded, “Agar paal nahi sake tou paida kyun karte ho, in Bol. The pain of the newly married couple is not permeating through the screen and it should.  

That said, we definitely will watch it because Verna screams women empowerment and that’s what we’re all about. 

Our favourite scene? Where Mahira smiles like a lunatic. Now THAT gave us goosebumps. 

Level of interest: Depends on premiere reviews.  

Release Date: 17th of November 

P.s. We’ve seen bad movies come out of great trailers, so let’s hope for the opposite here. 

Arth 

“Shaan has star power,” they say. He can attract masses. If he is the human equivalent of a magnet, why was the trailer trying so hard? So when the trailer for the much-awaited, Arth, came out, we were all eyes. But our ears had to pay the price. Humaima Malick’s fake accent had us going for our non-existent smelling salts. The, “you know wharrt, it’s OKAY when I say it’s OKAY,” part was horrifyingly embarrassing.

In short, there are way too many wannabe American accents for one film. But we could watch this one to pass our time and we’re intrigued to find out what will happen to Ali and all the other characters. One question though: Are the dialogues copied from an English film?

Level of interest: Neutral! 

Release Date: 21st of December.  

Rangreza  

 Here’s another story revolving around a singer (Shaan plays the character of a famous singer in Arth), but unfortunately, his vocal chords need a fair bit of practice. If the song in the beginning of the trailer is anything to go by, we’re not going to enjoy the music of this musical film.  

The love story looks clichéd but always works. A famous singer falls for a small town girl – Urwa Hocane has again done an amazing job – and the society goes ballistic! After a lot of cacophony, parental intrusion, and arrival of an unwanted lover (who in this case is played by Gohar Rasheed), the hero (Bilal Ashraf) and the heroine (Urwa Hocane) eventually live happily ever after. 

It looked promising initially, but then it ended up resembling a mediocre Bollywood movie. 

Level of interest: Minus. 

Release Date: 21st of December.