7 Pakistani Women Give Advice Post Divorce
They say that it’s pointless to get any kind of marriage advice from a person who had a failed marriage him/herself. However, I think unlikely; divorced people often have the best marriage advice. Why? Because they have endured the loss of what once was the most important relationship in their lives. They’ve probably spent lots of time thinking about what went wrong. And they may be very clear about the mistakes they made as well as the mistakes made by their partner.
I decided to ask around few women who have been in a relationship in which they had to part ways with their better halves and what they learned from the divorce. However, these women did not want to disclose their identity which is why you’ll have to trust me when I say these are all actual divorced women sharing their experiences.
“I learned that we need to be selfish sometimes and f*** what society thinks because they aren’t and won’t be in my shoes man, they could never relate to what I went through. So, I’d suggest if you’re unhappy in a marriage, then walk away and if your Ammi and Abba care about you, they’ll understand and respect your decision of opting for sanity.”
The Girl Who Finally Walked Away
“There are many things that I learned from my divorce, but the two most important ones would be the fact that you MUST love yourself. Girls like me tend to neglect ourselves when in a relationship by putting the guy on a pedestal and settling for less. If you find out that your husband has been cheating on you. Leave that A**hole right there. Girls are always told by their parents that it’s okay if he’s cheated. mard hai, maaf Ker do, but no. No maafi for that.”
“Never look back and regret! Today is your present. Yesterday was your past. And tomorrow is what you make of your future.”
“Don’t care what people think and focus on yourself! People talk no matter what. You can’t ever please them. Everything else falls into place with time. You will heal overtime and move on. The only thing that might bother you would be if you care what others have to say about you and how they perceive you. If you start letting that get to you, then you won’t be able to move on. Keep yourself as busy as possible initially so you can escape all the negativity. I worked at 4 places to keep myself away from everything and to have not even a single moment to spare to think about it.”
“Life doesn’t stop for anyone. If it was right for you, it would have lasted. Allah ke kamon mein yaqeen rakhein. Just know that something good and someone better is waiting for you out there, and in the end it will all make sense that why it didn’t work out with this certain person, so stay strong. You’re perfect!”
“Everything heals. Give it time.”
“I am happy today because I didn’t care about what people will say or think. I did what I felt was right for me and my sanity. Never trust anyone except your parents or siblings. For the first time I didn’t give a thought to log kia kahaingy and made my decision.”