Ways To Fake Being a Morning Person


When it comes to being a morning person, you’re either born with proclivity for early wake-up calls or…you’re not. Those in the latter camp needn’t let themselves be physically betrayed by red eyes or puffy faces. No matter how much your colleagues may share your dislike for the early morn’, it’s generally not a good idea to show your pain and suffering too much. Fortunately, after a decade of practice, I pretty much nailed faking my adaptability to mornings. Here’s how I did it:

1. Shower Every Morning

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When I first started dragging myself to the office, I decided it’d be clever—and time-saving—to shower the night before. While this did give me a few extra minutes of snooze time every morning, it did nothing to awaken my senses.

It took a late night out with friends one Wednesday night for me to realize showering in the morning was the ticket. I’d been out too late to have the energy to shower that night, and I set my alarm for 30 minutes earlier the next morning. Incredibly, that hot shower not only woke me up but somehow washed away the lethargy and disguised the lack of sleep I was definitely suffering from.

Yes, it takes a bit more time, but jumping in the shower has a way of shocking your system and getting your circulation going. If you absolutely can’t get yourself into the shower, then at a minimum do a thorough scrubbing of your face in the sink and finish off with a splash of cold water. You’ll look and feel more awake than you would if you’d simply rolled out of bed.

2. Make Your Eyes Look Bigger


A beige pencil is bomb. After splashing your face with cold water, the redness in your actual eyes is reduced, but when you’re tired your waterline also gets redder. This is the topical way to cancel that out. Your eyes look smaller when you’re tired too, and this makes them look bigger. For a long time theater people would use white liner, but that’s a little stark. Beige is subtle and almost undetectable. You just look well-rested.”

3. Dress Up

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I know. The last thing you want to do when you can barely say your own name is coordinate a sharp looking ensemble. When I first started working the early hours, I was lucky if I could wear a matching pair of shoes, let alone a coordinated outfit.

Then one morning, when I was feeling particularly comatose, I remembered what a friend’s mother told me when I was in high school: “Whenever you’re feeling a bit off, slap on some lipstick, do your hair, and wear something nice. It’ll instantly improve your confidence.” I’d tried it hundreds of times throughout my educational career, and it worked wonders. I figured it’d probably work well in the office, too, and boy was I right.

Sure, sometimes I had to pick out my clothes the night before due to my lack of coordination and motor function in the morning, but as soon as I managed to get myself dressed, I immediately felt more alert and ready for the day.

4. Add a Punch of Color


One of the oldest, oldest, oldest tricks in the book when you’re feeling tired is to put a bright color on your lips. The biggest fear with that is that [after a few hours] it will be eaten up and you’re just left with lip liner. This is the answer, especially because when you’re tired you don’t want to worry about retouching lipstick. Paint a lip stain on and keep balm in your bag to put on top. If you ever think it’s too bright, wait until it’s dry and layer a creamy beige lipstick over it. It’s the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen in your whole life.

As much as I love my coffee, it can’t do the whole job for you. Try these tricks for a week (in addition to your preferred caffeine fix), and I’m willing to bet your colleagues will be asking you what you’ve been eating for breakfast.







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